My youngest was completely desperate to do Girl Scouts this year. yippee. I'm sure Girl Scouts is a perfectly lovely organization once you get past needing to sell your soul and lots of overpriced cookies to support a gluttonous parent company that is more interested in lining their pockets than making sure that girls have a fun experience. After all, it's the troop leaders who are responsible for the experiences, rather than GSA.
Why am I so yucked out by Girl Scouts? A mere 6 years ago, the other spawn was desperate to do Girl Scouts. She had friends, I had friends, sell cookies, have fun, what's the problem. Well, the problem was that my two friends instigated a coup for cripe's sake. A Girl Scout Coup!! Between each other. Naturally I'm in the middle, the girls suffered, it was just bleeping ugly. I had planned a pile of badge junk to do under the encouragement of friend L, let's call her Lying Sack of Shit, to help out stressed friend P, let's call her Psycho Nutjob. Well, when L went to headquarters to get P thrown out as troop leader, in addition to wanting me to "testify", she also tossed my piles of badge junk to the curb. In a sense saying that my time/energy was good enough under the P regime, but not good enough under the L regime. And then has the nerve to ask me to chaperone the Girl Scout trip as a driver. And to lie to me about where we were going to stay(yes, some people might read the directions before the rest stop and therefore not need to have a confrontation in front of Sheetz.) I'm not holding a grudge. Much. In any case, L has moved back to where she belongs and P is still a casual friend since our daughters are still casual friends. And I thought that my Girl Scout experience could be called complete, finished, done. B'bye.
Until little one is so desperate to do it that she might actually have said something about cleaning her room and taking a bath voluntarily. So we're in. First meeting we get the dreaded sales packet. Fine. I pulled out my checkbook. We'll order some shit. I paid for membership. I paid for Camporee next weekend. I paid for the badge thing later this month. I'll buy her a stupid overpriced vest or sash or whichever darn thing she wants. And I will sell freaking Girl Scout cookies in February with a smile on my face. I thought my checkbook would be enough interaction with Girl Scouts.
Except not so much. Three weeks in and I get an email from the troop leader. Can you please _____, because you know you're going to volunteer at some point? Yup. She's right. Four years of being on PTO together and she knows that I will say yes. Actually, she knows that I will not even wait to be asked. I will raise my freaking, stupid hand. (which is why I don't go to PTO meetings anymore) Oh, shit. I'm going to end up asking her if she needs a cookie mom. Somebody disconnect my internet.
Fine. We'll give this Girl Scout thing one year. Next year, little, loud one will be too busy in middle school to do girl scouts. And I will again say b'bye.
