certain that it's probably not going to happen

This week was a week in my head- not a particularly pretty place.  I spent the whole week thinking about something that I was sure was going to happen.  It crossed my mind at odd times.  It made my disposition less than sunny.  I finally took charge of myself and said, "Self, this is not going to happen.  You need to get a grip and move on."  So I did.  I made a list in my head of the things that aren't going to happen and started thinking about the things that are going to happen.  Truthfully, the following items were not on those lists because you really just can't know all my secrets.  And, by the way, the thing I convinced myself wasn't going to happen actually did, and it was completely underwhelming.

I got to thinking about a fun math lesson from school this year.  The kids were learning about certain, unlikely, and definitely not.  I made little cards with examples from each category.  The kids had to read the card and decide which category the statement fit.  Being a silly person, I had an amusing time writing the cards and hearing the results of my labors.  As I was leaving for the day, the little boy I always called the wrong name (not my fault- his best friend has the same name without the "th" in the middle!) got the one "Mrs. K. will call me the wrong name."  I laughed the whole way home.  Everyone thought the "Mrs. S. is going to have a baby gorilla." was hilarious.  Those were the best two, but how much fun we had playing this game.  It was definitely a fun way to think about real vs. not and certain vs. uncertain.

Not going to happen

* I'm not going to win the lottery.

* I'm not going to transform in Donna Reed overnight.

* I'm not going to influence my outsides by wishing.

* I'm not going to be perfect at anything.

* I'm not going to be famous.

* I'm not going to grow up.

Likely to happen

* I will do something stupid like almost go to jail for a parking ticket.

* I will say or do something I shouldn't.

* I will be a very blond brunette.

* I will volunteer for something I shouldn't that will cause me great aggravation.

* I will be sad for no good reason.

* I will want to do something good for other people.

* I will finish this stinking grad school application after working on it for 5 months(?)

* I will work hard at my summer camps and have fun in spite of myself.

* I will be mean to my beloved hubby when he's sick, taking up space, and not doing anything for me.

* I will influence my insides by being stubborn and by wishing.

Certain to happen

* I will laugh at something funny one of my kids say- daily.

* I will cry through Annie, Les Miserables, and Folger's commercials.

* I will finish reading several books, but not as many as I have on my list.

* I will find humor in other people's silliness.

* I will get a hug when I need one.

* I will be loved by my family and love them right back.

* I will be sarcastic.

* I will be as moody as a teenager- and I have an excellent role model for that one.

How do you live a life filled with items that fit into such slots?  How do you move on from the things that definitely won't happen?  How do you turn maybes into certainties?  How can I live life as the blondest brunette ever?  Yep, good questions.  The answers are clear.  Life is uncertain, eat dessert first.  Life is mind over matter: the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind.    Be flexible.  Even though I hate that word just a little bit, I can do it.  I can do whatever I put my mind to.  And so can you.