never can say goodbye

Here I am again at that uncomfortable place of having just finished a series of books.  I hate it when I'm supposed to say goodbye to a character that is such a part of my life.  The newest character, Katniss Everdeen from the Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins, has insinuated her sarcastic, true, seemingly unfriendly self into my life.  I've been a little cranky for a couple days now as I saw the end of her saga looming- not at all sure that I wanted to find it.  This was a combination of not being sure that I was going to like the ending and not wanting to have it end.  I love Katniss.  She is powerful, yet unaware of that power.  She's strong, yet feels weak.  She doesn't like to be anyone's pawn.   As I turned the last page, I cried.  Actually I cried through the last 50 pages at least.  And it's been a long three hours since I finished that I feel like I might actually be able to get past this feeling and live my life again.

The other truly painful time of finishing a series was Harry Potter, of course.  I read through the first few books myself eons ago.  The Order of the Phoenix kind of did me in for a while.  Then one summer I started to read them aloud to Rebecca.  We got so hooked together.  We'd finish one and then immediately start the next.  As I read to her, I realized how well constructed these books are and how sometimes books are well worth rereading.  I completely immersed us both in Harry, Ron, and Hermione's lives.  Then we arrived at the books I hadn't read or remembered very well, and I was on the edge of my seat right along with Rebecca.  We lived and breathed Harry Potter for months.  We listened as the unspeakable happened, argued about whys and whens.  It was so hard to start Deathly Hallows.  But it sucked us in too.  And we read, often past bedtime, because we both had to know.    Then one horrible afternoon in December, we read the last word.  The two of us just sat there, stunned that we were done.  That there was no more to know, experience, feel.  How could this story be done? This story that had been an integral part of our lives for months.  We were empty.

Of course there are other stories that captured my attention.  I'll admit I inhaled Twilight.  In fact Rebecca and I fought over who got to read the last book first.  I was somewhat embarrassed about how I enjoyed them.  But honestly Bella, Jacob and Edward are just not the same kind of characters.  I didn't  miss them as much.  I read for the storyline or whatever and I don't mind the Edward sparkles (as I know many people do mind.)  I liked the ending, but I don't think there were tears and emptiness.  I did read the Golden Compass series and liked Lyra very much.  I think maybe she was a part of my life as well, but her story got a little weird by the third book.  So her story ending was less enjoyable, and I finished just to see how it wrapped up.

In any case, here I am with no more Katniss, Gale and Peeta.  But...  Katie and I are reading Harry Potter now.  In fact, as soon as she finishes washing her hair, we'll be reading a little more about Gilderoy Lockhart (my absolute favorite Hogwarts teacher.)